Category Archives: Rants

In Which I Tear A Religious Bigot To Shreds

Conservatives hate hate HATE being called out on their hypocrisy. Particularly their religious hypocrisy. They seem to think they are above reproach when they spew their bile and hide behind the Bible. This comic, posted by a long time friend, Rikki Stamberg Beaver, pretty much sums it up:


Of course, one of her conservative “Christian” friends, Veronica, felt persecuted by this and responded in the following manner:

Veronica Maratea LaRock The problem is that liberals do not “make their own choices without trying to force us not to practice our Christianity. I have no problems with liberals and gays! Hey if they want to go to Hell it is their choice not mine!! But when they try and talk Christians into believing that aborting their children are okay, I have a problem. When they start trying to make Christian boys who play with Barbies that they may be gay and it is okay, I have a problem. When they start saying it is not okay for me to display my nativity, it is not okay :( As long as your religion does not interfere with mine, I am fine but when you tell me that my religion is an issue – yes I have a problem. Why you guys cannot see that, I have no idea :( Jews do not believe in killing babies or do they care if I have a nativity – just like I do not care if they have a Menorah!! Please do not make this situation what it is not….. We call ourselves Judeo-Christian for a reason… sorry you sound like an atheist not a Jew…

Let’s break this down, line by line and see just how Veronica absolutely proves that conservative “Christians” are some of the worst people in the world.

“ The problem is that liberals do not “make their own choices without trying to force us not to practice our Christianity.” No, the problem is that scumbag right wingers like Veronica are not content to worship in private as Jesus commanded (Matthew 6:6). Instead, they insist they be able to use tax payer dollars and government institutions to promote their hate-filled distortion of Christianity. So not only are they spitting in the face of their religion, they’re pissing on the Constitution they also claim to venerate.

I have no problems with liberals and gays! Hey if they want to go to Hell it is their choice not mine!! I have no problem with you but wish eternal pain and suffering on you. What a good Christian she is! 

But when they try and talk Christians into believing that aborting their children are okay, I have a problem. Actually, no one tries to convince anyone that abortion is OK, what liberals say is “If a woman wants to have an abortion, IT’S NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS!” Remember, Veronica is upset that people try to force their views on her (even when no one is). But it’s perfectly acceptable for her to dictate what YOU can do because SHE says so. Yeah, she really is that big of a hypocrite.

When they start trying to make Christian boys who play with Barbies that they may be gay and it is okay, I have a problem. No one tells little kids they may be gay. This is the kind of whiny persecution complex bullshit that morons like Veronica live for. “Oh woe is me! The world is out to get me! Therefor, all of my bigotry is justified!” As my friends Rikki and The Irish Wench would put it: What a twat waffle!

When they start saying it is not okay for me to display my nativity, it is not okay. I will pay Veronica $100 if she can prove to me that she was prohibited from displaying a nativity scene on her private property. Fuck it, make it $1000. I know you’re reading this you egotistical little shit, put your money where your faux-pious mouth is. 

Now, if you’re whining about not being able to display your religion on public property, which you almost certainly are, please shut the fuck up. We both know that you would squeal like a stuck pig if Muslims asked to put up an Islamic shrine at your local town hall during Ramadan. That’s the Islamic holy month, you ignorant shit.

“As long as your religion does not interfere with mine, I am fine but when you tell me that my religion is an issue – yes I have a problem. Why you guys cannot see that, I have no idea “ Ah? So when someone ELSE’S religion doesn’t interfere it’s OK but when Veronica insists that her religion take precedence, we should all bow before her? Yeah, that’s a whole lot of hubris there. The arrogance is simply stunning.

“Jews do not believe in killing babies or do they care if I have a nativity – just like I do not care if they have a Menorah!! Please do not make this situation what it is not….. We call ourselves Judeo-Christian for a reason… sorry you sound like an atheist not a Jew…” Rikki is Jewish, as am I (although I’m completely non-practicing and Rikki eats pork). For this presumptuous phony Christian to tell ANYONE, much less actual Jews, how Jews view abortion has got to be one of the most galling statements I’ve come across in some time. Just to be clear, NO, Jews do not consider abortion to be murder. Why? Because the BIBLE does not consider abortion to be murder so they do not teach that it is. Here’s a poll of 1000 Jewish adults (page 24):


Yeah, I think Veronica doesn’t know what the hell she is talking about. She regularly spouts nonesense and then gets offended when called on it in public. She spent days insisting that death panels are actually IN the Obamacare law. I demanded she look it up and quote it. She huffed and puffed and then sent me a private message asking me to drop it because she realized she couldn’t find it. She couldn’t even bring herself to admit she was wrong in public. And I’ll bet money she still claims the death panels are coming.

Veronica is the perfect example of the kind of personal nastiness that far too many conservative “Christians” harbor behind their plastic smiles. They go to church on Sunday, sing hymns about love and peace and then go back home. There, they complain about those goddamn gays and fucking liberals and salivate at the idea of them burning in hell. Jesus is just a name they blather to hide the anger and resentment they have at a country that has loudly rejected their ideology of bigotry.

Personally, I wish a long and healthy life on Veronica. I want her to live long enough for her grandchildren and great-grandchildren to whisper to their friends about her. “Don’t pay any attention to her. She’s one of those people. You know, the ones that think homosexuals are evil or something.” The frustration of all her hopes and dreams for the suffering of others who don’t believe in her small and painfully twisted version of Christianity will be, to me, far more satisfying than any punishment in the afterlife.

Right Wing Shows Its White Trash Roots Over Obama/Castro Handshake


The right wing freak out over Obama shaking the hand of Raul Castro at Nelson Mandela’s funeral shows just what kind of lowlifes they are.

Allow me to explain. My immediate family’s dynamic is messy to say the least. A few years ago, my half-brother Louis died. We were not close. We hated each other as kids and hadn’t spoken in over 20 years. It was just an oil and water thing. I still went to his funeral. Our father also planned to attend the funeral and here’s where the problem lay.

My half-brother Mark hates our father (long story). Mark was enraged that he was coming and didn’t want him there because our father did not get along with Louis, either.

I was absolutely appalled at the drama. This was a funeral. Yeah, it’s funny in movies when crazy stuff happens at a funeral, but in real life? You keep your crap to yourself. You come, you pay your respects, you mingle and you leave. You do not cause a scene at a funeral. Period. End of line.

The very idea that conservatives think Obama should have been obnoxiously rude at the funeral of one of the most revered men on the planet is a sign that they lack any social grace or class. For a group of people that claim to be superior to everyone around them, they’re little better than white trash and, once again, they’ve embarrassed America.

Have An Orwellian Holiday!

It recently came to my attention that monopolizing store chain Walmart may have helped fund the recent GOP shutdown. Thinking that it seemed like SOP for the giant retailer, I didn’t think anything of it at the time. However, my future mother-in-law mentioned to me that, due to dwindling profits caused by the shutdown (Be honest, who here could have thought, as Walmart surely did, that people who were furloughed or losing benefits would go shopping?), they’ve ramped up their shoplifting protocols to ridiculous levels (though admittedly, that incident showed more than just the retailer at fault). Again, I put this out of mind, because I don’t steal from walmart or any other store (though, full disclosure, I do sometimes forget to pay for things at the bottom of the cart if I don’t see them again, but who doesn’t?), but tonight brought an already stressful day to a beautiful head.

After spending the first half of my day staring down a term paper, I decided to take a break and ride with the Missus’ mom to have lunch with her at her work, and as we were finishing up, I went into a nearby grocery – I won’t name names, for obvious reasons, like not starting shit – to grab some soda. It’s a good couple hundred feet between the shops, and anyone who’s spent time in Oregon knows that the concept of autumn doesn’t exist (you get one warm day after summer, then it’s ball freezing cold), so I bundled up for the walk over there.

Now, I’m aware that my cold weather gear looks a bit suspicious – scuffed boots, fleece lined hoodie with the hood up, and an open top balaclava – so I always make sure to pull down the hood and facemask soon as I enter any store. Apparently that wasn’t enough, because I soon realized I was being followed through the store. I grab an energy drink to calm my nerves, and try to get my shopping done quickly as possible. I get to the counter and suddenly realize I left my debit card in the Missus wallet, so I pay for my sodas and tell them I’ll be right back to pay for the drink I already drank, because in most places, you can’t buy one with EBT. I’m stopped at the door and harassed by the head of security about the whole ordeal, and, well, I didn’t handle it as well as I normally do, especially when he threatened to call mall security on me. For a fucking NOS! I convince him to let me go with a warning when he lets me know they were following me on camera as well as on foot. He promised that if he ever caught me in the store again, I’d be arrested for trespassing.

The term Orwellian was coined after George Orwell’s book 1984 described a police state where Big Brother acts in a way that is destructive to the liberty and social well-being of the state. It seems that, where retail is concerned at least, this has come to pass this holiday season, as they always seem to be watching and waiting for you to fuck up in any way, shape, or form, even if they have to manipulate the system to do so.

Maybe it’s just me, but I think that a store that has become so paranoid as to threaten and coerce it’s clients (I’m looking at you, too, Barney’s) when they suspect foul play where there is none, they don’t deserve our money this year.

-Don’t Panic

Michael Pearl: Douchebag of the Year


Firstly, I’m sorry I haven’t posted in a while. I’m a student, and we’re coming up on finals time, so between studying and anxiety attacks, there hasn’t been much time to relax with a nice steaming cup of rant rage.

Before we get into my rant for today, I want to confess something … I am a survivor of child abuse. For most of my childhood, I experienced either physical, mental, or sexual abuse daily, sometimes all three. For longer than I’d like to admit, I was denied things most take for granted, like a working toilet and access to sunlight and fresh air. It took me years of therapy before I’d even acknowledge the worst of it. Even now, I don’t sleep for days on end, and I haven’t had a depression free day since the start of the millenium. I’ve attempted Suicide four times in 7 years. I’ve experienced everything I’m about to talk about firsthand.

With that said, let’s move on to the part that makes you go “What the fuck?!

Let me elaborate; another child has been killed by her adoptive parents, under the guise of religious parenting. Admittedly, I haven’t read my bible in several years, but I’m pretty sure that nowhere in it does it say “Yae, thou shalt refuse yon child nourishment, and shalt leave her nude in the freezing night to cow her.” Pretty sure if it had said that, it would never have made it passed the publishers, and yet, here we are.

Michael Pearl, earning the dubious honor of being the first person of 2013 that I would want to do things to that violate The Hague Convention, has penned one of the worst literary abortions since Mein Kampf (only, Hitler never claimed his principles came from the work of God, think about that). To Train Up A Child is written by Mr. Pearl and his wife, both leaders of No Greater Joy Ministries, and claims to be written from biblical inspirations and values, despite the fact that several Christian groups are speaking out against him and his methods as being completely against the ideals of the bible and Cristo himself.

Without going into too much detail, mainly because thinking about it too long makes it feel like my head is full of angry yellowjackets, he advocates beating children who are disobedient (otherwise known as every child on the fucking planet!), and denying them basic things like food, clothing, and shelter, otherwise known as the majority of your responsibilities of being a parent!

Okay, breathe, man…

Pearl is the worst kind of human filth, because he not only brings the darkness inside his soul – a darkness so vile it would even give Old Scratch pause – and gives it to other people looking for advice on their child, but he even advocates prophylactic beatings. Yes, his book suggests beating children as young as six months, and when confronted by his detractors, he says children of parents who follow his guide ”…become the models of self-control and discipline… that pay the taxes your children will receive in entitlements.” (wonder what party he subscribes to…)

Apparently, I’m not alone in thinking. that Michael Pearl needs to be stopped before he can spread his evil further, while getting paid handsomely for doing so. I have no hate for the parents, because I don’t know what they were going through when they made the decision to follow his teachings, but I have nothing but sorrow for these children who will never be able to grow old. I can only hope the ones who have survived thus far will find help soon, before it’s too late for them like it almost was for me.

-Don’t Panic

Obamacare Is Not Going to Hurt Grandma

The conservative attack on Obamacare has been a string of subversive lies meant to undermine the United States’ first real attempt at regulating the healthcare industry. From the beginning, Republican and libertarian conservatives screamed that the money to fund the ACA would be stolen from Medicare and that senior citizens would pay the price in less services. This misrepresentation of the facts was successful in engaging a large section of their conservative base.

Go on any conservative website with a story about Obamacare and scan for comments about the negative affects Obamacare has had on Medicare and the people who depend on those services. The falsehoods embraced by the senior citizen demographic is staggering. Twenty percent of the United States population receives some kind of Social Security benefit. Historically this has been a big conservative voting block and conservative mouthpieces have never missed a chance to defraud them by lies, while using intimidation to promote fear and anger.

Liberals, on the other hand, have never been very good at promoting and marketing our values. We need to start steering this ship with bold strokes and stop choking on minutia. On this one issue we have command of the ship, in spite of the crew threatening mutiny at every turn. Affordable healthcare is here, in all its pathetic patch-worked glory. As true liberal activists we should be defending the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act. Don’t be afraid of failure because it didn’t launch perfectly. There are several benefits of the ACA that have enhanced Medicare since 2010, but most seniors don’t even know they can thank the ACA.

We should be thankful this day has finally come and stop acting embarrassed. We don’t need to make excuses for the ACA. It has survived unprecedented assault by conservative lawmakers. This entire process of implementation has been overshadowed by the constant barrage of threats by conservative coalitions. Yet, still it survives!

Thousands of devoted liberal-minded people have worked countless hours to pry open the door to affordable healthcare for the people of the United States. Many of those devoted to this cause did not live to see it implemented. It is far from perfect. It may be more like a boat than a ship, but it is ours! We played capture the flag on this issue with the conservatives for more than 100 years. We won. We won graciously. Liberals gave conservatives the national healthcare plan THEY wanted, even if they do call it Obamacare. We didn’t stand up for what we really wanted, which was common sense, across-the-board fairness, when it comes to healthcare in the United States. This was our compromise with conservatives and they threw it in our faces, denouncing what was, in reality, their own ideas. True liberal values means we keep fighting misinformation, we keep explaining and sharing the best data we have. We correct our mistakes. We keep working for the betterment of our country and its future.


Ted Cruz’s Dad Is A Sick F**k And The ‘Liberal’ Media Is Completely Ignoring It

It’s funny, but I’ll bet my life that if Obama’s father were alive and spouting extremist leftist rhetoric, we would all know every word of it and Obama would never have been elected. But here’s Ted Cruz’s freak of a father ranting and raving about how atheists are evil and does the “liberal” media even mention it?


Oh? That’s not fair? Ted Cruz is not responsible for what his crazy father says?

Ah. But Obama was responsible for all of the crap Rev. Wright said?

Oh? But Rev. Wright was obviously a deep influence on Obama so it’s totally relevant?

IT’S TED CRUZ’S FATHER! Can anyone, with a straight face, say that his father DIDN’T influence Ted Cruz?

Yeah, that’s what I thought. If you want to see how Ted Cruz really thinks, just look to his father. You’ll have to do it yourself, thought, because the “liberal” media certainly won’t do it for you. Reporting facts might appear biased or something.

The greatest trick the GOP ever pulled was convincing the mainstream media that it was “liberally biased.” It’s allowed Republicans to lie, cheat and steal for decades with no fear that the fourth estate would call them on it.

Fuck the mainstream media. They’re spineless cowards and actively working to make America a worse place by providing aid and comfort to those that would shit on the Constitution for the benefit of the rich and powerful.

The Disease That is Conservativism

No-Fox_4c998Ever have a day (or in my case, night) where as soon you look at your social network of choice, you just want to scream “Fuck!!” at the top of your lungs? Lately, that seems to be the case whenever I get an update from a friend in my home state (who we’ll call Twiggy to protect his identity). We met in school before I was expelled, and he was one of the most open-minded,  if naive, people I knew, but since moving back to his hometown, he has become, essentially, a closed-minded imbecile.

In high school, Twiggy was a gay artist who was completely against the policies of Dubya, saying they were a plague on the country that was going to lead us to world war 3. Flash forward 5 or 6 years, and now he hates the current administration, thinks that everything POTUS has done in the last term and a half is destroying our country from the inside out, and has shown his utter disdain for civility by ending the post that sparked this rant with “Call me crazy but I’m beginning to get the idea that Romney would’ve made a better president than Saddam…um, I mean Obama. “ This kind of bullshit is something that sounds natural coming from an RWNJ, but not from a (presumably still) intelligent gay male who’s greatest achievements are in arts.

Make no mistake, I’m not deifying our president; I know he’s made mistakes (the NDAA being one of the biggest ones), but I also point out where he’s gone right (Do I need to list examples?). My problem here isn’t that he doesn’t support the president – that’s his prerogative, and his right as a citizen – my problem is that he seems to be proving the theory that the GOP’s brand of conservatism is a disease more virulent than the common cold. Unfortunately, it seems like it’s only going to get worse.

Scum Of The SCOTUS

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Everyone has their daily ritual they have to complete, and for me, that means checking Cracked’s daily articles. Today’s article on how the political machine is rigged  brought up some concerns. notably what or who they answer to.

The Supreme Court of The United States is considered the highest power in all the land; every lower court in the country has to answer to at least one higher power, with SCOTUS being the top of this particular pyramid of power. However, the supreme court doesn’t seem to have anyone they have to answer to, not even the president. In theory, this should mean that they have one more safeguard to prevent a corrupt administration from making them a puppet to their policies; in practice, however, we see the same issues we see in any self-regulating organization. The human with the greatest legal mind in the country is still human after all, and humans are so prone to corruption, roughly half of our classic literature deals with this reality (The Tempest, The Ring of Gyges, The Lord of the Rings, and Who mourns for Adonis, to name a few) and yet, we somehow think of our elected officials as being incorruptible.

SCOTUS, and judges in general, are supposed to recuse themselves from any suit that presents a conflict of interest to them for whatever reason. While there are checks and balances abound for lower court judges, it’s essentially up to each justice to decide whether a case provides a conflict of interest, which works about as well as you’d expect. Examples of this self-regulating system failing are: Clarence Thomas  presiding over the constitutionality of the Affordable Care Act while his wife actively campaigns for its repeal, the king of bloated trolls Antonin Scalia going duck hunting with Dick Cheney before presiding over a case involving his energy task force, and just general clownfuckery.

With the possibility of corruption so high, and the instances of such possible corruption coming to light, this brings some troubling issues to light. While everyone has their eye in a microscope trained on the president, and quite a few of us want to view our senators only through a rifle scope, no one really seems to keep an eye on the supreme court these days. As my opener asks, when there’s no higher power to answer to, who watches the watchmen?

The Pope and the Palin

Years ago, before I hit the age of reason, I was once a devout christian, in a town where the only real difference between Catholicism and Christianity was the frequency of communion and confession, so I was a big fan of the Pope. After the church and I had a falling out (something about me being the spawn of some hellbeast or other leading the flock astray), I started looking back at the track record of the catholic church, and found out that there hasn’t really been a truly pious man of God in the cloth since the time of Martin Luther, at least in my opinion.

Enter Pope Francis, who seems to be kicking theological ass and taking names by returning to the old ways of the Catholic church. One of the things that has been causing a lot of backlash against him is his stance on the gays, and their right to equality (anyone who is a student of history might realize that this isn’t really much of a shocker, all things considered).  Personally, it’s his stance on the merit of atheists and homosexuals makes him somewhat inspiring to those of us who grew up thinking the motto of the Catholic church was “If it feels good, you’re going to Hell.”

Fortunately, everyone’s favorite living joke thinks differently. Sarah Palin was quoted saying “He’s had some statements that to me sound kind of liberal, has taken me aback, has kind of surprised me,” while others feel like Francis is throwing them under the bus by deciding to update the church’s stance on key social issues.

Now, there are a lot of things that can be taken away from this message; modern Conservative Catholics only support their pope if his prejudices line up with their own, that people who aren’t white and straight deserve to be second class citizens, that some modern religion seems to be based around making an excuse for your prejudice under the guise of piety. The most prevalent message I’m hearing, though, is this: If you’re conservative, you’re not a decent person. Now, admittedly, I’ve had some conservative friends that did not fit this mold, but they seem to be the exception, not the rule.

If you disagree with me about this, I don’t really care; anyone who thinks that equality can be achieved while there is class inequality under the guise of religious fervor is fooling themselves.

Why I’m Against The New Minimum Wage Increase

There is still a long way to go

Hear me out.

I should start by telling you a little bit about myself. I’m a socialist democrat, and I’ve spent the better part of the last decade moving from one shitty menial job to another; highlights include holding umbrellas over shoppers in carts while we traversed a parking lot so flooded with cold water that trench foot was an actual possibility, and trying to push a 3 ton antique display case through the busted cobblestone sidewalks of the french quarter, compressing my spine for 3 days.

The missus and I were talking about the news the other day on our way out the door to pick up presents, and she casually mentioned that she had signed a petition to raise the minimum wage from $7.25 an hour to $10.10. Given my history in the lower middle (and now just lower) class, she was understandably stunned and confused when I said I had signed a petition to oppose it. considering that I’m so vocal in my support for the proletariat, how can I be against it? What follows is the gist of our conversation, but the long and short of it is that it isn’t enough, but people have been tricked into thinking it will be.

Right now, the minimum wage will bring in $15k a year for someone lucky enough to work full time, and the proposed raise will cause their annual income to jump all the way to $21k practically overnight, and who can complain about an extra 6 grand a year? Turns out, next to everyone actually impacted by it, actually. Let’s look at the math for a second:

According to the ASPE‘s current figures, the poverty level of a single parent of two is about $19.5K, anything more than that and s/he is ineligible for most forms of federal aid, and those that they are eligible for get severely reduced. The increase would put her about a grand and a half out of reach, and I can guarantee the benefits she’s losing are helping him/her out more than the increase will. While this would be an admirable benchmark for a plan that included further incremental increases, but on it’s own it is nothing but a polished turd. (For those readers who disagree, or would rather see for themselves, MIT has helpfully developed a living wage calculator for your state).

For a more crude, but entertaining metaphor, let’s look at it this way:

You, dear reader, likely get your news from sites like this because, to be perfectly honest, the mainstream media has you burnt out. Between the depressing, soul killing items that make the news, the pieces that redeem humanity that don’t make it, and the fact that it seems every other word is bought and formulated by someone behind the scenes to elicit a specific response, I can’t blame you. We live in a time where, for the first time since at least the Cold War, children are growing up not knowing what peacetime is. You’ll look for anything that can alleviate the grinding, crushing atmosphere of the country that makes you question if it’s worth it to keep up the Sisyphean effort of eking out an existence today. If someone comes by with a shit sandwich laced with the financial equivalent of Walter White’s Blue Sky and tells you it will lessen your suffering, you’ll eat it with a smile on your face. Unfortunately, once the creamy meth center wears off, you’ll be even worse off; the salesman forgot to mention that bit.

We need a higher minimum wage, something that doesn’t leave us out of reach of both federal assistance and an actual living wage. Tell your congressman and representative that $10.10 isn’t enough, and you know it.

The person that brought this issue to my attention was a facebook page making fun of paid right wing shill Michelle Malkin named Michelle Malkin’s Twitchy Parts , and she brought up the very astute points that:

A.) This proposal only makes sense until you start thinking about it.


B.) If you want to figure out why it seems to be crafted specifically to hurt the middle class, you just need to follow the web of influence to its source.

This has been my opinion; feel free to agree or dispute my claims. I welcome any discourse so long as it’s polite, and hopefully this will be the first of many posts for the Filthy Liberal Scum family.