In their desperation to keep Benghazipalooza going, Fox News is resorting to extreme measures. Knowing that their audience has the attention span of a brain damaged gnat, the executives at Fox have started bringing in completely random “experts” to comment on the “scandal.” How else can you explain the NFL’s Terry Bradshaw being asked to weigh in on such a serious topic? Yeah, you read that right: Terry Frakking Bradshaw.
In light of this new low in Fox News credibility, I put together a short list of other “experts” Fox can interview about Benghazi. I helpfully named the segments for them, too. Aren’t I just the sweetest?
Gordon Ramsay “Is Hillary Cooking Up A Cover Up?”
Lebron James - “It’s A Slam Dunk That Obama’s Guilty!”
Oliver Stone - “It’s A Conspiracy! You’re a conspiracy! EVERYTHING’S A Conspiracy!”
Lew Rockwell Ron Paul “Unknown” – “Is Benghazi The Beginning Of The Race War?”
Stan Lee - “Will This Be The End Of Our Friendly Neighborhood Tyrant? Stay Tuned True Believers!”
The Koch Brothers – “The Following Benghazi Expose Is Funded By Anonymous Donors Who Are NOT The Koch Brothers”
Glenn Beck - “If I Say Benghazi Enough Times, Can I Have My Old Job Back?”
Justin Beiber – Unavailable for comment after being arrested again.
Maury Povich – “Are You The Father Of This Tragedy?”
George W. Bush – “I Call Upon All Networks To Flog This Story To Death. Now Watch This Drive!”
Maybe they can toss in a few historical and fictional figures as well!
Republican Jesus™ – “Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto Benghazi”
William Shakespeare – “To Benghazi Or Not To Benghazi?”
Harry Potter – “Bengahzious Scandalous Fabricatious!”
Connor MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod – “There Can Be Only One…Benghazi”
Captain Kirk – “BENGHAZZZZZZZZZIIIII!”
Buzz Lightyear – “To Benghazi And Beyond!”
You’re welcome Fox News. I expect my check in the mail in 6-8 weeks.