I KNEW IT! Spiders Are Out To Get Me!

The spiders are coming to get us!

The yellow sac spider is attracted to the hydrocarbons in gasoline and can find its way into a fuel tank hose, said Mazda spokesman Jeremy Barnes. There, it may weave a web that blocks airflow. That could cause the fuel tank to crack and, possibly, a fire. Mazda said it is not aware of any fires due to this issue.

I hate spiders. I hate them with a passion. I’ve been deathly afraid of them for decades although I can’t pinpoint why or when it started (although I suspect it has something to do with Captain Kirk getting eaten by them). My father’s wife Kim once told me she was thinking of getting a pet tarantulawhen I was about 14 or 15. I told her if she brought it into the house I would kill it. She told me I would do no such thing. I explained to her, quite calmly, that if she brought a giant spider into the house, I didn’t care if it was the last one on Earth; I would crush it and then set it on fire (we did not get along very well before that and certainly not after).

As I got older, i noticed that spiders had this annoying tendency to drop down from the ceiling right in front of me with annoying regularity. Once every 4 or 5 months. When I started driving, I kept finding black spiders crawling on the inside of window shield. I became convinced (only partly tongue in cheek) that spiders were trying to kill me. If a spider dropped on me while I was doing 60 on the highway? Guaranteed accident. I became even MORE convinced when the spiders in my car stopped being black and easy to spot. Now they were pale yellow. Almost translucent and very hard to spot until they where right on top of me. You see? They started sending in the Special Forces ninja spiders!

And now they’re learning how to make cars explode?

I don’t drive a Mazda but I know I KNOW this is just a test run to learn how to make my car burst into flame while I’m on the highway….

2 comments for “I KNEW IT! Spiders Are Out To Get Me!

  1. April 7, 2014 at 1:49 pm

    I, too, have an irrational fear of spiders. Although, I had a big brother who would come and pick them up in his hands and deposit them outside if one was ever found in the house or anywhere near me, so the need to kill them never took hold of me. haha

  2. mbannik
    April 7, 2014 at 4:58 pm

    Was seeing a play one evening, was offered stage seating. Seemed like a great idea until the middle of the show when I felt something touch my hand…you guessed it; spider dropped in to see the show and also thought on stage seating a god idea. Let’s just say the actors were not ready for thatarticular bit of improve!

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