Season’s Beatings, Everyone!

Salvation-Army-Kettle-Ringer-2-originalThis article was inspired by the always funny Steve Marmel.

Well folks, after a finals week that saw me sleeping once every three days, I’m finally back to rant at your face holes; and what great thing will we start the week off with? Well, how about someone getting attacked for saying Happy Holidays? Christian Post  mentioned last week that a Salvation Army bell-ringer was attacked by a woman in front of Walmart for being politically correct. While I can certainly understand if she’s upset, does it really warrant a haymaker? I hate political correctness, and even I say happy holidays!

Now, the Salvation Army has some questionable policies regarding homosexuals, and even more questionable rules and conditions in their homeless shelters – my night spent in there found me sharing a dorm with about 100 people per room, and having to pay my last $5 to get a bed with no pillow, blanket, or sheets for the night – but the fact is that the individuals in the church will often balk at the misconceptions placed on them. Much like there are good Christians out there, there are good “Soldiers,” The Ex notwithstanding, and they are often only trying to do good.

Bear in mind, Kristina Vindiola was attacked for saying Happy Holidays by a woman who thought the only acceptable winter holiday is Christmas, going so far as to ask “Do you believe in God?” before repeatedly hitting her in the arm and body.

Quick question: who here knows the real history of Christmas? It’s not Jesus’ birthday (that would actually have been midsummer, according to the bible), but rather a holiday adopted by the church to distract people from the pagan holiday Saturnalia (or rebrand it as their own, depending on your source), with 12/25 being the final day of a weeklong festival devoted to such festive activities as rape, getting shithoused, and glorious, glorious man-love. Before that, it was and still is a pagan/wiccan holiday celebrating the winter solstice; evidence can be seen all around you: the gifts are symbolic of Saint Nicholas’ tendency to chuck bags of gold into homes of peasant whores in the dead of night to allow them to leave that life; the tree is a symbol of the norse god Thor; Mistletoe was thought to contain semen of the Gods, and kissing under it was thought to bring fertility. What we think of as Christmas today is nothing but a Frankensteinien creation of the church to force us to spend time with relatives we otherwise wouldn’t go near, and to celebrate their patron deity.

While what do today is nowhere near the old traditions, the feelings of kinship and appreciation are universal regardless of religion. I’m Buddhist; we don’t have a holiday like christmas, and many of us don’t even celebrate Christmas itself (it’s kind of hard to detach yourself from the material world while someone’s giving you an ipod), but I do because it’s important to The Missus.

I guess my point here is that, regardless of your chosen faith and holiday, and regardless of what someone says to you, if you understand the words behind a message but not it’s intent, it’s time to step back and ask if there’s something wrong with you, rather than the rest of the world.

-Don’t Panic

4 Responses to Season’s Beatings, Everyone!

  1. Bravo!!

  2. Daniel "Gateman" Harned

    Thank you, Sweetie; I was hoping to have a strong return

  3. I love the way you summed up what Christmas is *really* about. I actually prefer “happy holidays” – isn’t it kind of presumptuous to assume everyone celebrates the same Christian holidays you do? And as for the woman who attacked the Salvation Army bell ringer, I think someone would have to be a pretty miserable person for their first reaction to be to hit someone when they’re wished happy holidays! I see this as the result of all the hate and paranoia outlets like Fox News are fomenting with this fake “war on Christmas.”

  4. It’s weird how some friendly seasonal greetings have morphed into verbal weapons. I know some xtians who will say “Merry CHRISTmas!” and spit it out like a vile insult. Others will say “Happy Holidays” to those same xtians, just to piss them off. Someone who lives just a couple of miles from me has a lighted yard display. It says “MERRY CHRISTMAS” with the “christ” spelled in mulitcolored lights, the rest in white. Really rubbing your nose in the “real” (to them) meaning of the holiday. Can’t we all just get along?