The Baby Daddy Chronicles: Tonight’s The Night!on October 10, 2012 at 4:27 pm
Tonight is THE night! Well, the first one, anyway. There was a bit of fortuitous miscommunication; I thought Maria’s ovulation cycle was supposed to start on Friday. What she actually meant was that her peak ovulation was on Friday, meaning that her cycle would be starting tonight! The reason this was a happy mistake is that Debbie was on vacation and we couldn’t have any sex while she was home (I was saving myself, you see). BUT! If I had to make my deposit on Wednesday, then I had to break my celibacy earlier than anticipated. And that means one happy Mrs. Filthy Liberal Scum!!
So anyway! I’m heading over there tonight for an incredibly erotic evening of masturbating into a specimen cup. Don’t judge me! Some people are into that sort of thing! Then I go back Friday and again on Sunday and that will conclude this round of “whack in a cup!”
At least Maria and Jenny will be making a sexy evening of it, though. Maria is apparently allergic to pretty much every form of lube so the only way they’re getting the speculum in there is if she’s, Maria’s words, “naturally lubed.” She even has the song picked out! Bowchickabowwow!
I kind of like it better this way. It’s less clinical and the child will be conceived in an act of love. No, I will not be present. While Maria and I would probably enjoy that, Jenny’s not quite the freak that we are (Maria’s working on that!).
So this is it! We’re really doing this. At least I won’t have any performance anxiety despite the awkward nature of the evening. I don’t know about other people but the idea of impregnating a woman, even indirectly, is quite the aphrodisiac. When Debbie and I were trying we were like rabbits and that was hard since we could only have sex every other day when she was ovulating. Talk about self discipline!