The Baby Daddy Chronicles: Baby To Order, Just Add Spermon October 6, 2012 at 6:20 pm
So here’s the baby making kit Jenny and Maria ordered. One specimen cup, one catheter tube, one syringe and a speculum. Interesting…my spell checker does not recognize the word “speculum.” I find the idea that I have a better vocabulary than my spell checker to be very sad. Anyway! I was surprised by the inclusion of the speculum, although I probably shouldn’t have been. Gotta hold open Maria’s hooch with something to get the tube up there. The further the better, I suppose.
After I place a, ahem, specimen in the specimen cup, I’ll spare Jenny the ick of handling the, ahem, specimen and prep the syringe and tube for her. Few are the women that don’t find the texture and smell of semen to be off-putting and this will be awkward enough to begin with.
Unless she really feels the need to do that part herself. That’s all up to you, Jenny! I offered, so no complaining later!
In other baby daddy news, tonight we realized that Maria is almost every single thing the GOP hates: She’s A. a female B. a lesbian C. Hispanic D. an immigrant E. soon to be a single mom (Jenny’s going to make an honest woman out of her sometime in the near future) F. currently on food stamps (in between jobs) and G. lazy (not really, but they’ll assume it).
Chances are that she’ll have a white baby anyway (or so we joke) so that should mollify the jackasses.