The Baby Daddy Chronicles: Countdown To Insemination!on October 5, 2012 at 9:23 am
It occurs to me that some people might find these posts uncomfortable since I’ll be discussing what some people consider “sensitive topics.” Those people should really get over it. The human body is universal: we all poop, pee and have sex. Leave the prudishness to the religious zealots.
Well, Maria finally got her period! She should be finishing today or tomorrow and THAT means we make our first run at it next Friday. Unfortunately for ME, that means no sex or masturbation after today. Of course, Debbie went to go visit a sick friend out in Long Island so she won’t even be here tonight! Boooooo!
Oh well, that’s what the internet is for!
So, the reason I have to go temporarily celibate is to build up some reserve. Contrary to what porn would have you believe, not every money shot is quite that large. The more regularly you have sex/masturbate, the less baby batter there is both in terms of quantity AND quality. So, to that end, I have to put Mr. Happy (I don’t really call my penis that) on ice until Wednesday night. I have to rub one out so there will be a fresh set of squirmies for Friday night. I know, who knew family planning actually required planning?
Maria and Jenny have their insemination set (no, we won’t be doing this the old fashioned way, more’s the pity) and I’ll be heading over there after Debbie gets home from work. Technically, you can say I have a hot date on Friday…with my hand and a sterile specimen cup. So romantic. They’re not even taking me to dinner and a movie first!
Meanwhile, Maria still gets to have allllll the sex she wants. That bitch…