NERD ALERT!!! I’m all a-tingle! Scientists are expected to announce they have proven the existence of the Higgs-Boson particle. The Higgs-Boson is the theorized fundamental particle that makes everything possible (hence the nickname “God Particle). This would be the biggest scientific find since Donald Trump’s hairpiece! Keeping my fingers crossed for tomorrow! Of course, I fully expect Michele Bachmann to announce that calling it the “God Particle” is blasphemy, that “real” conservatives can’t be fooled by snobby elitist scientists and that everyone knows the universe, which is only six thousand years old, is held together by Jesus’ love.

Here’s a simple explanation of what the Higgs-Boson is and why it’s so important:

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No, this will not create a black hole and destroy the world.