The Closest Eric Holder Will Ever Get To Saying ‘You’re A Lying Sack Of Crap!’ To A Republican

As part of Darrell Issa’s (R-Scumbag) witch hunt for an imaginary scandal, Sen. John Cornyn (R-Asshole) let loose with a highly unprofessional and disrespectful tirade against Attorney General Eric Holder. Holder, showing far more dignity than his persecutors, responded with a devastating rebuttal:

Holder: With all due respect, senator, there is so much that is factually wrong with the premises that you started your statement with, it’s almost breathtaking in its inaccuracy, but, I’ll simply leave it at that.

You know, we want to talk about Fast and Furious, this is, I guess, what, the ninth time?— [turning to an aide who nods "yes"]—this is now the ninth time that I have answered questions before a congressional committee about “Fast and Furious.”

If you want to talk about Fast and Furious, I’m the attorney general that put an end to the misguided tactics that were used in Fast and Furious. An attorney general whom I suppose you would hold in higher regard was briefed on these kinds of tactics in an operation called “Wide Receiver” and did nothing to stop them. Nothing. Three hundred guns, at least, “walked” in that instance.

I’m also the attorney general who called on an inspector general to look into this matter, to investigate this matter. I’m also the attorney general who made personnel changes at ATF and in the U.S. Attorneys office that was involved, have overseen the changes of processes and procedures within ATF to make sure that this doesn’t happen ever again.

So I don’t have any intention of resigning. I heard the White House press officer say yesterday that the president has absolute confidence in me. I don’t have any reason to believe that in fact is not the case.

And in terms of, you know, what is it that we have turned over to Congress in this regard, let’s put something on the record here. … We have collected data from 240 custodians, we have processed millions of electronic records, looked at over 140,000 documents, turned over 7,600 pages. Over the course of 46 separate productions, we have made available people from the department at the highest levels to be interviewed.

And I’ve also said, indicated, I guess, earlier in my testimony, to the extent that all of that is not enough to satisfy the concerns that have been raised in the House committee, I am willing to sit down and talk about the provision of more materials. I have sent letters in that regard, the deputy attorney general has sent letters in that regard, and have not had responses. Which leads me to believe that the desire here is not for an accommodation but for a political point-making. And that is the kind of thing that, you know, you and and your side, I guess, have the ability to do if that’s what you want to do. It is the kind of thing that I think turns people off about Washington. While we have very serious problems, we still have this political gamesmanship.

Translation: “You’re a liar, a hypocrite, you know very well who actually started this program and we’ve given you everything you’ve asked for. Please stop pretending this is about anything other than politics you weaselly bastard. Feel free to kiss my ass.”

Pure awesome!

You see the frakking morons I have to deal with?

2 comments for “The Closest Eric Holder Will Ever Get To Saying ‘You’re A Lying Sack Of Crap!’ To A Republican

  1. LaRonda
    June 14, 2012 at 11:43 am

    Fucking outstanding!

  2. June 14, 2012 at 12:02 pm

    I love diplomacy wrapped in the truth. Very well spoken.

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